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You need to let your husband take the lead and you need to support any decisions he makes here.

Also, I'd suggest he hang this one out in the extended family group chat. Let his Grandma deal with his Mom... I'm sue her family will make mince meat out of her asshattery.

This.

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

OP, he is going no contact in part because of tge bet but also in part because I can guarantee this is not the first time his family has engaged in really crappy behavior toward him. He knows his family far better than you and knows whether no contact is warranted. I wish I had realized this when my husband was trying to distance us from his family and I kept inviting them around trying to play peace maker.

Also, from here forward, you can have a LOT of fun with this. When introducing his Mom or Sis to people, you refer to them as "husband's birth mom" and sister as "his Mom's daughter" Both are accurate just like you are his best friend.

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